Have you ever really been in-love?

Have you ever been in-love? Not lust, not like and not infatuation, true blue love. It’s a tough question. I have had three serious relationships in my life but think I was only really in love once. Or maybe twice. Being in-love has so many different meanings to different people.  There should be a guide-book that will let lovers know if there’s is a real kind of love. If I wrote a book about the true test of being in love then the first step would be to make sure it is two-sided. You cannot be in-love if the other person does not feel the same way. That would just be called a crush or obsession. Pull back, pull away, that is not a good thing.

Now if your really in-love you most likely don’t need a book to tell you if you are or not, you know. I am not talking about marriage. Marriage is a whole separate subject. Some couples marry for convenience, money or stability. The love I am talking about is the once in a lifetime kind that you see movies made about. I’m talking  like Romeo & Juliet and Jack & Rose. Some go their whole life and never feel this. What tragedy. Or maybe that is the safest way, less hurt.

The second step in my fake book would be trust. You would trust them through any situation no matter what. You would trust what they say and what they do. When all good relationships are young they get the butterflies and get all starry-eyed about each other. But true love must be tested, time and again. In my eyes, I don’t care if the relationship last one month or 60 years, if its true, its true. I found this hilarious chart to help you determine your situation…

Currently, I am not in-love. I worry that I won’t ever fall in love again. I believe that falling in love happens to us, it is not our choice. For real, I really do. I know I will never marry again. I have done it twice already. That’s enough for me. I have a significant other and for right now in my life that is ok. Will it last forever? No. But that’s ok too. Do I love him? Yes. But that’s a different kind of love. ‘In love’ is sometimes thought of as the first flush of the relationship. The discovery, the joy in finding someone that you think completes you. The excitement of being together, and dreaming about the future. Once all that has worn off, Love is usually what remains. Knowing that there is another person next to you, that shares all your hopes, that depends on you to take care of them, and that you can depend on to take care of you. Someone who will put you first, someone you will always put first. someone who you can forgive everything, and know that when you need forgiveness they will give it unconditionally. I think everyone needs to fall in love at least one in their lifetime. There is nothing like it.

 

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6 Comments

  1. Very interesting post but I think that a guide book will not help anyone only because it will give you one person’s point of view/biased. Like you said being in love has so many different meanings to so many different people that a book would be hard to define if there love is the real love.
    Also, I honestly think that it is possible to be in love with someone without the other person feeling the same for you. I mean how many couples have lied about their feelings to one another and left another hurt. Love is complicated.

    Can’t wait to read some more.

    Like

    • Thank you so much for reading this and you made a very good point. I guess it can be a real love if its only one sided.

      Like

  2. Susie

    I enjoyed this entry, Nanette. Good personal experiences and thought provoking words.

    Like

    • Thanks Susie. Looking back @ it really makes me realize how many years I wasted on the “wrong” person. And I can’t believe I found those writings I did.

      Like

  3. Angel

    I’m really thankful I found Love early in life…We were no doubt made for each other

    Like

    • You two are truly a classic love story. I am so jealous.

      Like

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