I decided to exercise today but it just didn’t work-out

drinking a beer when I was still thin

The thing I hate most about my self or my life is being overweight. I hate my eating habits and my lack of exercise in my life. I began to get fat in my late 20’s. Before that it was never an issue. I was an average to small-sized chick who is only 5’3. Not sure what caused the blow up. When you watch all those weight loss shows on TV they always say there is usually a reason for the weight gain, like being raped or beaten or low self-esteem or their mother doesn’t love them or they got fired or whatever. Well, that is not the case with me. I think my weight explosion is from pure out laziness. So in my 20’s I grew from around 120 lbs to 180 lbs over the course of 8 years or so. And then it continued and continued. Now I am one big huge fat ass. Don’t misunderstand me, I think I am pretty and I have a good personality but I am obese.

I have joined gym after gym after gym just to quit them all. Then I have done Weight Watchers, NutriSystem and some local place called HourGlass or something like that. Then I did the pills. The only way to lose weight and be healthy is to exercise regularly and eat right. Well who the hell can do all that?! That is asking a lot. I can try to do one or the other but not both, together. Geesh! I tried to just accept the fact that I am now a large person and plan accordingly but I am still shocked each time I look in the mirror. I signed up to do the gastric bypass surgery, which I qualified for, but didn’t have the money. People say, “Oh, you don’t wanna do that, that is just a quick fix”. A yes I do! I know this is all my doing and is just from my undisciplined behavior. I hoped it was genetic and not my fault for the longest time but no one else in my immediate family is over weight. I watch the Biggest Loser on TV religiously for hope it will cause me to lose weight or quite possibly motivate me to change. Nothing yet. I have learned how to deal with this handicap over the years. Slowly I began to withdrawal from bathing suit activities like pools, beaches or boating.  And I dread going into public looking like this. But life must continue and so must I.

bruise from being thrown off an exercise ball

Advertisements

8 Comments

  1. Candice

    I completely feel your pain on this one. Exercise is just part of it, but hun all you need to do is walk and then as you start to loose the weight try different things. As for eating healthy, have you tried out the myfitnesspal app. With this app you can still eat whatever you want just along as you stay in your calorie range. This app is what is helping me lose all the weight I have lost. And I eat whatever I want. I think you are PERFECT just the way you are!!!! You are a beautiful, amazing woman!!!!

    I believe in you and have faith that you can do whatever you put your mind to and I will be your cheerleader 🙂

    Like

    • Candi, You are always so freaking sweet. Believe or not, you have been a huge inspiration to me. I downloaded C25K Lite on my droid but haven’t started it yet. Thanks for your support.

      Like

  2. Susie

    Nanette—funny, sad and entertaining. As you are aware, I, too, have struggled my whole life with weight. I weighed 300 lbs at 12 years old. went on a 6 months fast when I was 24 and lost 65 lbs. Now I always say that I have to work at my weight….just to stay at only “chubby”…no fun!
    LOVE you!

    Like

  3. Susie

    Correction…like it matters…I weighed 200 lbs at 12….

    Like

    • I understand the feeling of correcting that but it doesn’t matter. I love you!

      Like

    • it doesn’t but I know what you mean

      Like

  4. Jay

    You let an excercise ball kick your ass?

    Like

    • ha ha ha. Yes, it threw me! I went flying.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: