The Greatest Loss of My Life

When I was 18 yrs old I started dating Ricky Groover. He was 25 yrs old and always the gentleman to me. I was introduced to him by a friend of mine named Karen. I called him the next weekend and asked him out. I didn’t know anyone in town except a few people and really was considering him as a future friend and not a romantic interest. He picked me up from my parent’s house and came to the door. He made small talk with my parents and then opened the car door for me. I was really impressed by his car, but later found out he borrowed it from his friend Steve for the night. The whole night I kept thinking to myself that I really am not interested in this guy in the boyfriend way. But he did and said everything right. At the end of the night he caught me off guard and pulled me into his lap and kissed me. Wow. I was shocked. And our relationship started from there.

We dated for two years and he treated me like a queen. The sweetest person to my family, friends and me. He was hard working and a great lover. What more could a girl ask for.  We started to plan a wedding and booked the church and ordered the invitations and other little details but began to get super stressed. In the end, we decided to trash all our plans and just elope. He asked Steve to be his best man and I asked Angie to be my maid of honor. We went to Ridgeland, SC and saw the justice of the peace. When we returned we went to my parents house and told them and we went to his parents house and did the same.

I had never had anyone cater to my every need the way Ricky did. He cooked, he cleaned and rubbed my feet. He spoiled me rotten. He also insisted on naming our baby Kari Lynn. After she was born, he proceeded to spoil her too. He was just one of those fellas that knew how to treat a girl right.

Realizing now that this blog could probably go on forever,  let me sum up the end. We divorced.  I couldn’t take all the partying he was doing. I moved out. We remained close friends until the day he died. Continuing to celebrate birthdays & holidays together and talking on the phone almost daily.

He died of lung cancer when he was 44 yrs old. My whole world came crashing down when he was under Hospice care. He had always been there for me: mentally,  emotionally and financially.  And to top it off, I had to watch my daughter try to deal with her losing the love of her life. I don’t think my daughter has ever recovered from this loss and might not ever.



1 Comment

  1. I wrote this about 5 months after Ricky died and just came across it………

    I know everyone has lost somebody atleast once in their life. I have. My dad died of cancer when I was in my twenties (1995). He was old but I was a daddy’s girl and felt a real connection between him & I. His death was hard on me & I do miss him so.
    But……………………… I lost one of my best friends, Ricky, to lung cancer in April and cannot seem to get past it or over it. He was my 1st husband and the father of my child. It is alot worse then when my dad died or anything else I have ever experienced. This is real heartbreak. I can tear up just thinking of him. My soul hurts. I depended on him for so many things that trying to live without him is like living a disability. We said our goodbyes when the time came but I don’t feel content with his death. I need him. I miss him. When will the ache go away??? Has anyone morned a death of someone that cut this deep or am I refusing to accept what has already happened? I feel incomplete with so many things due to the fact that I can’t call & tell him something or ask his advise on how to handle something. Somedays I just can’t believe that this is real. He can’t be gone. He loved life. He was so social and loved a party. I want to scream to everyone I see and everywhere I go to let everyone know that Ricky is gone! I feel like no one understands. He was just here & now he is not. Man, could I get on his nerves. But he loved & cared for me like no one else. He was so gentlemanly like, almost old fashioned in a way. Always a host, serving people drinks & socializing with everyone he knew. He was born in the early 60’s & loved Jimmy Buffet, James Taylor and Peter Frampton. I never want to forget his ways, his silly sayings or wonderful laugh. I learned more from him than anyone else. My only prayer is that the pain subsides & I stop crying everytime I allow myself to remember when……………………


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