Over The Top
For some reason, I have always had an over the top personality. I am the loud one, the fast talker and usually the center of attention. People either love me or hate me. There is nothing about me that is subtle or gentle or quiet. I think that comes from being one of seven kids. You have to talk loud to be heard. You have to talk fast so you can get it said without getting cut off. I could see myself as the one who starts the wave in a packed stadium or on a reality show. I would be in my element.
Whatever I do, I do big. When I was using the tanning bed, I decided I had to own one. So I did. I have had experimental surgery. I had my nose pierced, four different times. I am always doing things to the extreme. I have changed my hair color from brown to blonde, black, red and multi-colored. Most of the things I have done over the top I am not going to mention here. You get the idea. Maybe I just have that need for speed. Or maybe I just like the shock factor. As I have aged I have noticed that I have calmed down and don’t have that craving for adrenaline like I used to. My craziness is not always a bad thing. I like to think of it as being passionate.
When I say I’m over the top, I don’t mean like Madonna or Lady Gaga. More like Kathy Griffin. Ok, bad examples but you get what I’m saying. Some people don’t know what to think of me. Sometimes I wish I was that soft-spoken one that just smiles politely all the time. I did try to change. But was unsuccessful. Eventually I had to learn to accept who I am and realize I was born this way. I’m happy to say that now I focus on restraining myself in certain situations and look for ways to channel my exuberance.